Oct 20, 2022BLAST FROM THE PAST, PT 2In which our intrepid author shares with you some old crappy writing of his from years ago, comments on it and makes fun of himself again. You can read the first part of this riveting series here. Is the fact that it took me almost five years to write a…Stupidity7 min readStupidity7 min read
Oct 20, 2022The Definitive Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise Ranking ListIt was late, I was stoned. LET’S ARGUE. 9. A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) Come the fuck on. I’ll be honest: Elm Street is probably my least favorite big 80’s slasher franchises, so it’s not like I have the huge connection to the movies like I do with Friday the 13th or Halloween, but there is not…Horror Movies5 min readHorror Movies5 min read
Oct 20, 2022The Greatest Friday The 13th Ranking of All TimeI was stoned as hell the other night and Friday the 13th is my favorite series, so I ranked the movies. LET’S FUCKING GO. 12. Jason X Yeah, I know I’m gonna get shit for this one. I want to love it, but every time I watch it I feel like I’m watching a SyFy Channel movie, and not in a good way. I just cringe for most of this movie. …Horror5 min readHorror5 min read
Feb 9, 2021Let’s Rank the Riverdales Albums Just For FunAnyone who knows me knows that I am an unabashed fan of all things Screeching Weasel, and that most certainly extends to the Riverdales, a side project that’s been as on again/off again as Ben Weasel’s main band. The band sadly called it quits in 2011, and odds are slim…Punk Rock5 min readPunk Rock5 min read
Dec 1, 2020Charlie Rodriguez (almost) Gets a JobEvery writer has heard the romantic notion about having to cut things out (it’s like murdering your CHILDREN, they say). I, being the cynical asshole that I am, always rolled my eyes when I read writers saying that. I mean, if you’re cutting it out, it sucks…right? …Deleted Scenes5 min readDeleted Scenes5 min read
Sep 17, 2020Things I’ve Seen, pt. 1I lived in Cincinnati for about seven years. One of my apartments was in this really nice little neighborhood near the university. …Cincinnati2 min readCincinnati2 min read
Feb 8, 2020The MonkeyA poem that I wrote when I was younger. Monkey cold, hard, hairy, tense Monkey he has a thought for not himself but his poop Monkey he wishes he had it better than in this zoo, people staring as he eats his poo Monkey you wish you WERE him. I honestly don’t remember writing this, but here it is.1 min read1 min read
Feb 20, 2018The story of one of my many other failed attempts of writing a movie.In which the author explains the line from his previous story about “his many failed attempts at making a movie.” In my previous story about DRILLBIT, I mentioned that I had tried several times to get a movie made. I made a few short films in high school for class…Movies3 min readMovies3 min read
Feb 20, 2018The story of “DRILLBIT,” the film that should have made me famous.In which the author recalls one of his many, many failed attempts at making a movie. The year was 2005, if I recall correctly. Might have been 2006. My relationship at the time wasn’t going well and I jumped at the chance to attend a multi-day horror movie convention with…Movies8 min readMovies8 min read
Feb 15, 2018BLAST FROM THE PAST, PT 1In which our intrepid author shares with you some old crappy writing of his from years ago, comments on it and makes fun of himself. In this first installment of Blast From The Past, I will share the sordid history of my webzine and some “weekly rants” that I didn’t…Short Story9 min readShort Story9 min read
